美國《新聞周刊》專訪李安：我最熱愛的錯誤 (中英對照全文)－純白裡的繽紛

美國《新聞周刊》專訪李安：我最熱愛的錯誤 (中英對照全文)

        今天翻閱 11 月 26 日號《 NEWSWEEK 》時，發現最後一頁有李安的專訪，是他在談電影工作與家庭生活之間的拿捏，包括他如何錯過長子的青少年成長期，以及怎麼在次子身上重新扮演好父親的角色。

        看完覺得蠻感動的，身為一位享譽國際的名導，李安在忙碌生活之際，還這麼盡心盡力地經營著自己的家庭。真是個不折不扣的新好男人。

        文中李安也回顧過去窩居在家寫劇本的心路歷程，真可謂「大丈夫能屈能伸」。證明了，只要懂得堅持，不斷累積實力，在看似沒有盡頭的、懷才不遇的日子裡，依舊時時刻刻磨砥自己的「才」，總會有那麼一天，能夠發光發熱。

        利用空檔把這篇文章翻成了中文，與大家分享，也在網路上找到原文連結。朋友們可自行點閱。至於中譯部份，若有未盡之處，還請各位強者多多指教。

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My Favorite Mistake: Ang Lee
The ‘Life of Pi’ director on his greatest balancing act.

我最熱愛的錯誤：李安談他如何在工作與家庭間取得平衡

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/11/18/life-of-pi-director-ang-lee-on-his-greatest-balancing-act.html

Many times when you make a movie, it feels like your biggest mistake. But even if a film isn’t a hit, you shouldn’t view it as a mistake. My mistake is having two sides to my character. When I’m not working, I get very down, but when I am working, I get very immersed in it.

很多時候，當你拍一部片，那感覺就像你犯了最大的錯誤。但事實上，即使電影不賣座，你也不應該將它視為一個過錯。對我來說，我的過錯在於個性中有著兩面性格。那就是，當我沒在工作時，心情總是無比低落，然而一拍起電影，整個人又變得非常投入。

For six years, from 1985 to 1991, I felt pretty weak and useless. I was at home, working on scripts and cooking and taking care of the kids, while my wife, who’s a very strong woman, steady and pragmatic, really stabilized the family. She was working as a medical researcher. I didn’t have much self-esteem, because I’d pitch so many scripts and get back rewrites. It was just endless frustration. I got moody and fell into a near depression. But then I became an older, more mature person who was much more prepared to direct a feature-length film.

在 1985 年到 1991 年這六年間 (譯註一)，我時常有著深深的無力感。當時幾乎都待在家裡，不是寫劇本就是煮飯做菜和照顧小孩。反之，我的太太卻是個非常務實的女強人，可以說是因為她，整個家庭才得以穩定下來。她的工作是醫學研究員，而我由於常投稿劇本卻屢屢被退件，內心總覺得十分過意不去。當時的挫敗之路，彷彿沒有盡頭。於是我變得情緒化，甚至差點得了憂鬱症。然而，隨著年紀增長，我越來越成熟，漸漸覺得自己似乎比以前更有把握去執導一部長片了。

Years later, when I was making Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Hulk, I was hardly at home. I spent two years on Crouching Tiger and then another year promoting it all over the world. After the Oscars, I went right into working on Hulk, which took two years. This meant that during my son’s teenage years, I didn’t spend a lot of time with him.

幾年後，當我拍《臥虎藏龍》和《綠巨人浩克》時，我變得很少在家了。我花兩年時間拍攝《臥虎藏龍》，又花了一年在世界各地宣傳這部片。奧斯卡頒獎典禮結束後，我隨即投入《綠巨人浩克》的拍攝工作，接著兩年又過去了。如此忙碌的生活意味著，在我兒子的青少年時期，我並沒有很多時間陪伴他 (譯註二)。

I grew up in Taiwan, where those years are all about academics, so I didn’t feel as though I had a lot of life experience to share with him while he was in high school. American high schools are psychologically more complicated. When your children are little, you educate them and share your experiences, but when they’re older, it’s harder, and I wasn’t home enough to give him guidance. There was a level of detachment and a lot of sparse phone conversations. “Work?” “Fine.” “Girlfriend?” “No.” By the time I finished Hulk, he was 17 and already preparing for college, so I had missed out on a lot. I should have made more of an effort.

我從小生長在台灣。在那裡，青少年時期的重心幾乎都在課業上，因此我感到有點力不從心，無法分享自己的經驗給正在美國念中學的兒子。心理層面上而言，美國中學和台灣比起來是相對複雜多樣的。當小孩年幼時，你可以教育他們、分享經驗，但當他們大一些，事情就比較難了，再加上我當時在家時間不多，無法提供方向和指引。因為這樣，某種程度上我們產生了疏離感，電話裡的內容也乏善可陳，不外乎「工作好嗎？」「很好」「有女友了嗎？」「還沒」之類的對話。在我完成《綠巨人浩克》這部電影時，他已經 17 歲了，正準備升大學。我想我錯過了很多歲月，我應該要付出多一點心力的。

After that, I tried to be there more for my second son. My next film, Brokeback Mountain, involved just two months of shooting, and I did the editing in Rye, N.Y., near my then-hometown of Larchmont. I also did postproduction on my next film, Lust, Caution, near my home, so my son would come to the editing room and watch. He wanted to play football, and I tried to talk him out of it because he was so small, but I was there for every game. When he made his first catch, I was so beside myself, I screamed louder than when I won my Academy Award.

在那次經驗之後，我試著盡量多陪陪二兒子 (譯註三)。下部電影《斷背山》只花了兩個月便完成拍攝，剪輯工作則在紐約黑麥市進行，距離位在拉奇蒙特的住家不遠。接下來的作品《色戒》的後製，也是在住家附近完成，因此二兒子能夠常常進來剪接室觀摩。他當時想打美式足球，但身材太過瘦小，我曾試圖勸他打消念頭。不過儘管如此，他每一場比賽我都到場加油。當他在達陣區接到第一顆球的瞬間，我樂瘋了，比我得奧斯卡獎時叫得還大聲。

Once he got to high school, it seemed suicidal to play football, so I finally talked him out of it, and he went into drama. I went to every performance and came home every night to cook dinner. He had a good time working as a production assistant on my film Taking Woodstock and then played Teddy, the boy who gets lost in Bangkok, in The Hangover Part II. He recently graduated from the Tisch School of the Arts at New York University, just like I did.

後來升上高中，以他的體格來說繼續打美式足球彷彿以卵擊石，於是我終於說服他退出了。他轉而投入戲劇表演。同樣地，他的每次演出我都到場，每晚也都回家做飯。在擔任《胡士托風波》製作助理的期間，他表現很好，也學得很愉快。後來他參與了《醉後大丈夫二》的拍攝，演出在曼谷迷路的男孩泰迪。而最近，他剛從紐約大學的 Tisch 電影學院畢業，他是我的學弟 (譯註四)。

My wife is now retired, and we’re normal people with good kids. Thinking back to those earlier days, I felt I was weak when I wasn’t making movies, and then when I was, I thought I was weak as a family member. It’s more of a big regret, because I truly, honestly wish I could do better as a father and a husband.

我太太現在退休了。我們是再平凡不過的一對夫婦，還有兩個還不賴的兒子。此時此刻，回想過去那段日子，在還沒成為導演前，總是覺得無力感很重。後來開始了拍片的生活，然而身為一位家庭成員，我卻依然有著沉重的無力感。這一切對我來說並不僅是遺憾而已，因為我是多麼地真心希望，過去那段歲月，我能夠在父親與丈夫這兩個角色上，再扮演得更稱職一些。

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譯註一：李安在美國攻讀完電影研究後，在家裡待了 6 年，一邊寫劇本，一邊擔任家庭主夫。1990 年提交《推手》與《喜宴》兩份劇本，獲得中華民國優良電影劇本首獎及二獎，後來當時的中影公司副總經理徐立功注意到李安的劇本，才在 1991 年邀請他拍攝《推手》，自此開啟導演之路。
譯註二：此處的兒子為李安長子李涵，1984 年出生，李安拍攝《臥虎藏龍》與《綠巨人浩克》時，他正值高中階段。
譯註三：李安次子為李淳，1990 年出生。李安拍《斷背山》時，他大約 15 歲。
譯註四：Tisch 電影學院為紐約大學下屬的 15 個學院之一，李安為校友。